Saturday 28 September 2013

Inked and officially back to training

  Since my last blog I have received some lovely comments congratulating me on my Ironman achievement and commending my decision to honour Rosie's memory by trying to get to the World Championships in Kona. I have also had some surprising messages which claim that I am an inspiration. I never thought I would be that and don't consider myself to be one but it is an honour to know that someone thinks I am. In my head I am still the unfit chubby kid attempting the 1500metres at school during sports day because no-one else would. I wanted to become an Ironman for my own personal reasons. I wanted to know what it would be like to be within the community who share the common nature of being an Ironman. I wanted to be an Ironman to see what it is like to push your body and mind to the limits. Throughout my journey I cannot lie I enjoyed the attention that comes with being associated to Ironman. I still enjoy explaining what an Ironman involves and what I have achieved. I am now in a small network of endurance athletes and that feels great, to have achieved something not everyone has. However, although it may sound like I am a glory seeker and only do what I do for others gratification, I can assure you I am not. I would urge anyone to achieve their dreams. Mine was becoming an Ironman and I liked the stigma that came with it. However, if yours is to complete a marathon then do it. I have encountered so many people (including my best friends) who have said that their wish is to do an marathon and say to me "I could never do a marathon". YES YOU CAN! I am testament that this is true. With training and the right mental attitude, anything is possible! If I am said to be an inspiration I would hope that the one thing that follows through from this is that I came from a low level of fitness to be able to become an Ironman. I was not athletically gifted from a young age I just have the mental attitude to not give up. Be persistent. If you can gain that then you are the majority of the way to achieving any goal you want.

  A major thing that I did in the last few days that could also make me seem like a show off is that I got an 'M-Dot' tattoo (pretty self explanatory when you see what it looks like). This is the logo of Ironman and many athletes decide to get this when they have completed an Ironman. I'm not going to deny it, maybe it is showing off, after all why else would I do it? I want people to see it and to recognise my achievement. I do have some bragging rights now after all. Although this will mainly be noticed by the other athletes I encounter when doing my events as these are likely to be the people who will know what the 'M-Dot' symbolises.
  First of all I had to chose a location on my body that would be noticeable, after all people have to see it for the reasons I described. The majority of men get theirs' on the calf, however I don't think this is very ladylike. I am also not a fan of random tattoo's on the body, be that male or female. This does not mean I dislike tattoos (pretty impossible really as Dan has a sleeve). In fact I do like tattoos when they are thought through and can appreciate them as pieces of art (as Dan's is). With this in mind I seriously considered where I was going to get my tattoo. I had debated my thigh but then no-one would see it except when swimming in a pool or when on holiday. I also get some pretty horrific tan lines during my triathlon season where my shorts have been so if it was on my thigh it would draw even more embarrasing attention to this. I did not want to get it on my shoulder, back or arm as I worry when I get married it will be visible. I basically wanted it somewhere that can be hidden if need be. This is when I decided on my inner ankle. It can be seen easily to all when training and competing but can be hidden with tights and trousers if need be such as at an interview (although I don't plan to leave my job anytime soon and know my boss does not bat an eyelid at tattoos). I did also worry about when going to a posh 'do' and didn't want to wear tights would my tattoo bring my outfit down but I then realised that anyone I go to an event with will know me and at the end of the day I am not ashamed at all to show my achievement off to anyone.

 However, although it may seem like I am trying to gain more gratification, getting this tattoo is more importantly a personal symbol to me and for this reason I needed it to be easily visible to me as well. It shows me what I have achieved and what I want to achieve in the future. I know that any tattoo should be seriously considered as it is for life. For this reason I researched many times into whether I should do it. There are countless opinions on the Internet about the 'M-Dot' tattoo. I have seen many people who have got the tattoo but there are many people who argue, "why would you want a corporate logo engraved on yourself?". These opinions did begin get to me at first and made me question my decision. I am much like many people, I want to be liked and don't want someone thinking I am an idiot. I understand that Ironman has become a brand so in many peoples eyes it is like getting 'Coca-Cola' tattooed on your body. I began arguing in my head how debate these opinions to make sure I was making the right decision. First of all, I thought would the people against 'M-Dot' tattoos say to an Olympic athlete who got the Olympic rings tattooed on them that they are wrong to do so? That they are in fact tattooing a logo and brand on themselves? The same could be argued for a soldier who gets their regiment on themselves. It is something they are proud to be a part of, becoming an Ironman is something I am proud of. Secondly another major argument is, "if someone wants to get it, it is their body" (the same with any tattoos someone decides to get). I debated this in my head for a while and the more negative comments I read the more wild and angry I was getting. This to me showed just how much I cared about getting an Ironman tattoo. I came to my own strong conclusion that the term 'Ironman' was coined by John Collins, a keen triathlete, in 1977 when he challenged the ordinary and wanted to increase the short distance triathlons that were only available in a small demand then (see blog 'suffer, reward and how it all started' from May 2013 for the full story). Yes since then Ironman has become an eventing company and 'brand' but to me the story behind how the name Ironman was decided upon is still there. In my eyes all Ironman (the brand) have done is help people who want to tattoo their achievement on themselves by picking an eye catching logo with which many people have adapted to suit their personal journey (see below for some examples).












  In hindsight I'm glad that these opinionated views did make me question my decision otherwise how would I have been able to know that my mind is strong enough to make the right decision? I know that peoples' strong opinions against the 'M-Dot' tattoo won't stop but I know in myself I have made the right choice. This tattoo is for me and me only, why do I care what others think? We all have our own opinions and I'm sure that some I am strongly for and against would make others wild. After all our views only make us human.

  So it was decided, I would get the 'M-Dot' on my right inner ankle. I went to the tattooist with my Ironman Wales magazine which had the logo on it which they photocopied and cut out to get the exact dimensions. The next question was size. I hadn't wanted it to be too big and imposing and didn't want a black outline as many get as I thought it made it look too bold as well as the fact the real logo does not have a black outline. I was also really keen on getting the Union Jack in the 'dot' to symbolise that I did my first Ironman in the UK but more so to show my patriotism. This would also make it that much more personal. The issue then was that the smaller size I had in mind was not big enough to have the Union Jack. So I had to make a decision as to whether to go bigger or stay smaller and have the 'dot' in plain red like the 'M' would be. When I put the stencil on my ankle to check it out the bigger size did look big, even if Dan and the tattooist said that it was tiny in comparison to the industry shop I was standing in. In hindsight I believe it looked much bigger because of what I had previously had in mind. I was passionate about having the Union Jack in the tattoo so I went with the bigger size. Even with the increased size the tattooist said he would struggle to include the Union Jack and was going to do an 'artistic impression' which meant I just had to trust him and his experience which wasn't amazingly reassuring to begin with. The inner ankle is said to be one of the most painful places to get a tattoo and I have to say it hurt like a bitch! The tattooist even asked me whether the pain was worse than the Ironman, to which I said "it can't have been that bad as I'm doing two more next year but I don't think I'll go through this again" (my parents will be pleased to hear). However, when it was finished I was over the moon with the result. The tattooist's 'artistic impression' is great. I am getting used to the increased size, which on the plus side will help me to show it off which is something I cannot wait to do!

It's official now - I am an Ironman!


  So with training well and truly started my first event to show off my new tattoo is the 'Lungbuster Duathlon' in Oxfordshire on the 20th October. This consists of a 8k run, 30k bike, 5k run. This will be a little event to keep me motivated even though the triathlon season has finished. My need until the New Year is just to maintain the fitness I have acquired and then from around March I shall upping the effort to increase my fitness to improve my speed. I need to do my plan well so that I peak at the right point i.e. at Ironman Wales on September 14th 2014. The Lungbuster was not the only event I signed up to for the rest of 2013. I have got a local half marathon in Marlow on 3rd November which will be a great way to set a benchmark and then I am doing a Chiltern Tri arranged 10mile run on the 29th December. Although this date sounds pretty horrible as it is during the Christmas period it makes it appealing to me as it means I cannot let my standards slip and may help me lose some of the Xmas gained pounds! I even entered an event for February 2014, another Duathlon which consists of 7.5k run, 21k bike, 5k run. This is again to make sure I don't slack over those tough winter months where triathletes can lose fitness. I know that Beau, my brothers triathlon friend who I have previously spoken about, puts on nearly 2 stone from the end of the triathlon season and then loses it all when he begins training again for the next season.
  These events are all part of my big plan. I began writing down dates and distances I wanted to be doing all the way through to September 2014. I want to do at least two marathons, at least two 100 mile bike rides, an Olympic distance triathlon and a half Ironman. I would ideally like to do Wimbleball half Ironman again as I have unfinished business there after last year but it all depends on whether I get the finance before the entries run out. If I do manage to get a place however I will definitely be camping to reduce costs as well to try and avoid the nightmare it was to travel to the event site.
   It was when I was trawling through Runners World, British Cycling and Triathlon 220 searching for events that I would have killed for someone i.e. a coach to do it all for me. It was giving me a headache! However, I finally managed to get a rough event plan together which gives me time to assess my progress and hopefully get quicker! Another thing I have made sure I have done is get my events close to home. I do not want the added cost of travel and hotels. The only two training events I would like to do elsewhere is obviously Wimbleball and the Snowdonia Slateman in Wales that I did last year. This was a very challenging and enjoyable event. It would also be a great event for me to assess my improvement from last year, particularly on the very very tough run.

  Furthermore, I also sent an email to all the people who are included in the channel swim relay in August next year. Dan is concerned that I am doing too much especially as my new goal is considerably tougher, trying to qualify to Kona. Therefore, he believes that this should be my main focus, which it definitely is. To me the channel swim is just an addition to training and would aid the Ironman. However, my worry is doing it non-wetsuit. Firstly, I will not have the time to give to acclimatise myself to cold water, I am a woos as it is when cold and although I would still be up for any group channel swim training this would take a lot of extra work. As well as that I will be losing weight with the added training I will be doing for my Ironman aims and am trying to get my body fat percentage as low as possible. Therefore, I will not have the extra fat as natural insulation. I am not writing this challenge off as it is something I committed to and is something I am desperate to achieve but I am asking the opinion of the members who have completed the channel. If it was firmly decided to be a non-wetsuit channel crossing however, I would seriously consider my involvement.

  Another challenge to add to all this that has been suggested recently is the John o'Groats to Lands End cycle ride (again something I have always wanted to do). This was a discussion Ryan, Rosie's boyfriend, Des, Dad, Dan and I had (whilst rather drunk it has to be said). We all decided that we would do this challenge to raise money for the charity 'SUDEP' (Sudden Unexpected Death in Epilepsy) in honour of Rosie. I am more than up for this as for me it would aid my training. However, I know that I may need to take a step back and assess what I am doing before rushing in and possibly physically exhaust myself before Ironman Wales. I may be an Ironman now but I am not invincible or unbreakable and will burn out if I peak too soon in training. Furthermore, such an event is not cheap and requires a lot of organisation. I have no doubt we will do it for Rose, but I may have to be the one to say lets hold back for a year despite how keen we are. My Dad is also concerned as with his recent hip replacement if he has a fall it could mean some serious long-term problems, so he is still mulling it over.

  So, I have to say it again, I am now officially an Ironman and can show it off with my 'M-Dot' tattoo and have booked three events for 2013. I am well and truly back to training. Bring it on 2014, it's going to be a very tough year of training but I am itching with excitement already.  

Wednesday 25 September 2013

The best and worst day of my life

  This post should be the happiest one of them all, however as many may know I was greeted with a family tragedy after crossing the finish line of Ironman Wales. It is for this reason why this post has been delayed and why this will go into more than my Ironman achievement on the 8th September 2013.

  I shall do my account of my Ironman weekend as best I can.

  Dan and I left for Tenby early on Friday morning. On that long three-hour drive Dan and I set the world to rights and discussed our future. We even discussed our retirement plans! I know it’s too far away for us to really imagine but it consisted of a big stone house in the Brecon Beacons. It was also on that car journey that I found my Ironman song; ‘Don’t Stop Believing’. Although I have heard this song hundreds of time the lyrics and beat seemed to mean a lot more when driving toward my Ironman debut.

  We arrived in Tenby around 10am and headed straight to the expo and registration. The first thing I did was eye up all the merchandise I wanted to get afterwards. It’s a superstitious rule of mine that I cannot buy anything until I have completed the event. The only thing I did buy however was a t-shirt that had every competitors name on the back. I could justify buying this as at the half Ironman these sold out and I could only get a XL so to save my disappointment I had to get it. I then registered which meant I got my big Ironman backpack (totally worth the ridiculous entry fee), which included all my information and the designated transition bags.

My transition bags all ready
  The great thing about getting there a few days beforehand is that I was able to pack my transition bags that night and triple check everything was included. At the half Ironman I was doing this in my car on a wet and windy day, which frustrated me. I could not afford anything to be wrong on the day. We got to the huge manor cottage where my family would be staying around lunchtime. After assessing the place like children by running around all the rooms we suitably picked the biggest one. My brother, sister in-law, youngest nieces and parents were not arriving until later that night and my sister and her family where coming on Saturday. Dan and I then had a nap and went to the gym (I only did some stretches). Before long it was 5pm and we had to head to the Ironman race briefing and pasta party. I have never gone out of my way to go to go to a race briefing before but I found it quite beneficial as everything was made clear and it was a great time to get that race ‘feeling’ (a combination of nerves and excitement). In all honesty the pasta ‘party’ was pretty poor as we only got a small spoonful of pasta, hardly the carb loading I was expecting and we even had to pay extra for Dan. However, we had a laugh and then got back to the cottage where I got my transition bags packed.

  Once we had triple checked everything Dan had a beer and I had a cup of tea by the fire – absolutely perfect (although I would’ve secretly preferred the beer).  My parents arrived at around 10pm with my sisters’ youngest daughter Phoebe. My brother and his family, Linzi and baby Lexi, arrived about 30 minutes later. It was a nice night talking and laughing until I had to slope off to bed. I had an early start as my transition racking started at 9am and I was shattered. I knew I should take sleep when came as I did not know if I would be able to the following night.
  
  When I woke up on the Saturday morning the first thing Dan reminded me of was what I would be doing at that time in 24hrs. At 7am I would be running into the sea! It was at that point I began to feel sick with nerves (thanks Dan!). It was however a gorgeous morning with the sun just beginning to show which meant that fingers crossed it would be the same the day after.


As I was in the first age group this meant I was one of the first to be racking my kit at 9am. Because of this my bike was one of the first to be racked, which unfortunately meant I didn’t get the chance to see much bike porn. However, it was great to not be in a queue or a rush. I had everything sorted in about 10 minutes and it went so smoothly.

My lonely bike in transition
No bike porn here































  I felt prepared as I ever would. Dan and I walked along the beautiful Tenby beach before heading back to the cottage. I had the whole day to chill out with my family.

  I went back to sleep for a while then joined my sister in-law, Linzi and my nieces Lexi and Phoebe at the swimming pool while my brother, Brett and Dan went to the gym. Phoebe stayed with me when Linzi and Lexi got out and it was nice to spend some time answering her questions about my Ironman. As we were walking out of the gym area I bumped into some of the most recent arrivals from my family; my sister, Emma, my nieces Rose and Amber and my nephew, Tom. The first thing Rose and Emma said was how much weight I had lost. Rose also later told Amber she thought I was moody during that conversation. I know that I was a lot quieter and subdued but this was merely because my nerves were getting the better of me. In hindsight though this is an emotion I regret as words cannot express how happy I was to have all my family with me that day. My parents were playing golf with my brother-in-law, Des, but the rest of us spent the rest of the day talking. We all sat around the big 12 person dining table giggling and in turn everyone said how mad I was for doing it. These are some of the moments I shall cherish forever.

  Just before dinner Dan and I went to pick my friend Yuliya up from the train station (she had travelled 5hours from London just to come and watch me). The train didn’t stop at the station she was supposed to get off at so we had to chase the train to pick her up. When we finally managed to get Yuliya off the train and back to the cottage it was time for dinner. I was a little quiet during dinner and honestly wanted people to stop talking about Ironman as it was making me feel sick with nerves. However, that was one of the best dinners I have had. Not only was the food great, the company with which it was shared was THE best. I had all my nearest and dearest with me and as I said at Rosie’s tribute at her funeral, Rose and I had our favourite conversation about our childhood at that dinner. This memory will be the one I shall always cherish.

  After overindulging ourselves in chocolate cake we headed back. I would’ve loved to have stayed up later with my family drinking and chatting but I had a 4am start. I kissed everyone goodnight and I was wished good luck in turn. Rosie’s last words to me were “Good luck Auntie Wobbles. I’m so proud of you. Love you, night night”. I had no idea they would be our last words but I couldn’t have asked for anything better.

  I have always wondered what I would feel like the night before such a big event. Now I know the answer; I can honestly say the anticipation made me feel numb. The whole experience did not feel real; as if I was watching someone else go through the preparations. (My preparations that night were painting my nails in my pink and blue Ironman colour scheme).

Still need to have the nails painted!

  That night I think I even managed a little bit of sleep which I was surprised about. However, when my alarm woke me up at 4am reality hit me. I was up and eating my porridge by 4.30 and as I struggled to eat it all took it with me in the car. We got parked with surprising ease and I wondered into the transition area to put the remaining sweets in the bag on my bike and put my full water bottles on the bike. I then went to the portaloos which were getting increasingly busier with the pre-race nerves kicking in. I am glad I went when I did as the one I ended up in didn’t flush which meant that the nervous shits from competitors was piling up. Not a nice vision but this blog does give an insight into the real side of triathlons! Once that was out of the way I began to put my wetsuit on and then met up with Dan, Yuliya and my parents who waited with me until it was time to do the mass walk down to the swim start at Tenby’s North Beach. Just before I was due to leave I gave my final hugs and everyone had a tears in their eyes. This was it; this was the moment I had been waiting for. Dan knew more than anyone how much training that one moment held and my parents knew how much it meant to me to cross the finish line. As Eminem would say, “One shot, one opportunity”. This was the time to make everything count – the early mornings and late nights training. My commitment to my nutrition and drink. I had 17hours from this moment to make it all count.

  Dan and Yuliya stayed by transition and my parents went to watch the swim. I saw them as I walked down so I knew were to find them when I was running back up the hill towards transition. By the time I had got down to the sea it was 6.50 so the practice swim was almost over. Although I wasn’t particularly fussed about acclimatising or practicing my swim I did need the toilet. So rather subtly, or so I thought, I waded in and relieved myself. Not particularly pleasant but from the heat of the water I don’t think I was the only one with this idea!

  With 5 minutes to go I placed myself in amongst the swimmers, much closer to the front of the pack than the back. At 2 minutes to go they played the Welsh National Anthem and although I’m not Welsh it made me well up so much I had to put my goggles on early to hide my tears. Had that had been the UK National Anthem I would’ve been a mess! God forbid if I ever do Ironman Bolton! The countdown began with 10 seconds to go and then we were off. The splashes of nearly 2000 people hitting the sea in Tenby must’ve been a spectacular sight for my parents even if they couldn’t spot me.

  There was a lot of fighting throughout the swim, particularly in the first lap. The first buoy was a nightmare to turn around due to the congestion. However, although I didn’t feel like I was pushing the pace the first lap seemed to go really quick. I didn’t have my Garmin on for the swim but I heard the race commentator say the number four, which made me think I had done 34minutes, that is my time trial PB. I then heard him call out my name to say I had completed the first lap. I was so pleased as it meant my parents would know how I was doing. I also saw Nicola and her friend in her pink curly wigs on the corner before I ran and jumped in the sea for my second lap. I did the second lap in a slightly slower 37minutes bringing my total swim time to 1h11. I only know this now as I am looking at my time splits but I was happy with my performance at the time and still pleased with that swim time now. The transition from swim-to-bike was tough. I had to run up the steep winding walkway and find my transition bag, which included a spare pair of trainers for the extra 1km run to the transition tent. Considering getting the wetsuit off, putting on trainers, running 1km to the transition tent, changing into cycle gear and grabbing the bike is one transition I was pretty impressed with my 11m20. I’m sure I spent about 8minutes in Wimbleball even when the transition was on the swim site! I managed to see Dan and Yuliya as I went to transition, even if they were shocked to see me so early. I had wanted to be on the bike by 9am latest and was secretly hoping to be on the bike at 8.45am. Imagine my surprised elation when I was cycling at 8.23am! I was exceeding my own seemingly optimistic predicted time splits.

  I cycled past where my family was staying at 8.30am and was cheered on by Amber, Tom, Lexi and Linzi. It has to be mentioned that I asked myself during the rest of the bike ride “was Rosie there?” I swore I saw Rose there in her pink dressing gown, but little did I know. The bike leg was very tough but not as impossible as I had imagined. I wished that the rain would stop pouring but apart from that I managed to get through the difficult climbs I was faced with. There was a section from around mile 50-60 (Carew to Narbeth) which I had to do again at mile 80-90, which was a slog. It wasn’t particularly steep it was just relentless uphill. It was this stretch of road that reminded me of something I read about in Ironman World Champion Chrissie Wellington’s book. She says that it is good to switch off and go into autopilot, sometimes, but you have to remain focused. This was the part of the cycle route that I would switch off and it would only be when I would look at my heart rate monitor and see it had dropped for me to get myself pedaling faster and harder to get back to my 160 desired heart rate.

  The support on the bike route was overwhelming. At a long 16% gradient hill towards the end of the first and second lap there were supporters encouraging and shouting at us to get up. Followed by that there was the deafening support at Saundersfoot – the location of Heartbreak Hill. I was so spurred on to stand up by the crowd I nearly missed Dan and Yuliya right by my side on the hill. By this point on the first lap everything was going perfectly, I was still beating my own wanted time splits.


  However, if something is too good to be true it normally is. At around mile 70, as I was going onto the second lap of 40miles, my left knee was in serious pain. I tried to stand up to get up a steep hill and in the process overtook some men climbing. Then once I was the majority of the way up my knee buckled and the pain was so severe and the movement so sudden it nearly knocked me off my bike. From this moment on I struggled to move my left leg at all – the constant weight and rotation was agony. I had decided to stop at the cottage were my family were, thankfully I decided otherwise. I managed to get a glimpse of my dad as I rode past which I thought odd as I thought he was supporting me in Tenby and although none of my family were supporting me on the side of the road I just assumed I was too early and didn’t think much more to it.
  At mile 75 however, I got off the bike due to the agony I was in. I struggled to even do this without falling. I stretched my legs out and still felt the pain. This was the only point in the whole event I seriously considered quitting. I knew my family hadn’t put any pressure on me to complete and wouldn’t be disappointed or judge me if I did quit but by them all being there I had put myself under pressure to finish. I sat in a field, cried, wet myself (again I’m showing you the harsher side of triathlon) and said a few words to myself. I thought about all my family at the finish line waiting for me with smiles on their faces and I knew I had to continue for them. I could see some marshals in the distance and deliberated getting some ibuprofen from them. However, I worried that if they did not have any they would wait for an ambulance, time I didn’t want to waste. So persistently I carried on and did the rest of the bike with one leg – something that is not easy up 17% gradient hills in Wales (they’re bad enough with both legs!). I had a nice guy who held back to keep me company for a while which took my mind of my knee for a bit until I told him to carry on and we wished each another luck. Dan and Yuliya who were still waiting in Saundersfoot were getting worried as my time splits had dramatically dropped. Dan thought I had fallen off (you can’t blame him given my track record). Their faces showed pure elation and relief when they saw me even if I did then make them worried again by explaining the pain I was in. Once Heartbreak Hill was done I knew I would complete the bike as the rest was downhill into Tenby. The bike was always my most feared discipline as I was worried about the cut-off. I completed the bike in 7h44 which gave me just under 8 hours to do a marathon. I said to myself “I can do this now”.

  My second transition was a mere 4m40. My strategy on the run was to just keep plodding. I knew the run was tough and I knew many people would be sucked into walking up the hill and running down. I wanted to keep going no matter what – even if it felt like I could quick walk faster than my run/jog/plod - I wanted to carry on going. This tactic worked like clockwork and the knee pain I experienced on the bike did not hurt on the run. Furthermore, my strapped up knee for the other ailments in that knee did not bother me at all. I began overtaking some people who had overtaken me on the cycle during my dodgy leg episode. I also began playing a game that a guy at the Tri club had told me about. His daughter competed in a fun run and every time she overtook a boy she would shout 'chicked' to him. The only difference was that I wasn’t shouting ‘chicked’ out loud.
  During the run I was in great spirits and talking to anyone who could or would respond. One of the guys I spoke to had done 13 Ironman’s including all of the feared i.e. Lanzarote and Nice. However, he said that this one was the toughest because the bike course is relentless and the run is just ridiculous. By this point I was on my second to last lap and was on cloud 9. Apart from my own personal pain on the bike I didn’t find it impossible and my high spirits on the run made me ask myself, “Should I be finding this this easy?” Maybe this was a sign that I have more to give and can work on this for next season. However, more importantly it was a sign I had trained well and I had done my nutrition right on the day. I had not burned out and drained myself of energy. Every part of my plan had gone right.
  One woman who annoyed me throughout the marathon had decided to do the walk-run-walk-run method. She would walk as soon as the uphill began and I would jog past her (as my strategy stated). Almost immediately after I had overtaken her she would run past me and this would continue about 3 times per lap. It began to annoy me as she was using me as a marker. However, when I began on my last lap I increased my pace and she did not see me again.
  When I got my last band, which signified I was on my last lap with about 6km of downhill and straights to go I knew I was on the brink of becoming an Ironman and I couldn’t stop smiling. Supporters could also tell when someone was on their last lap as the final band was red. As a woman I had been getting more support than the men as we were in the minority so when the supporters saw a woman with a red band in the relatively quick time they screamed. I had one guy who waited in the same spot and cheered my name on every time I came round. I also had a guy tell me I looked lush and he had a beer waiting for me! But the best support and the faces I wanted to see the most was my own supporters. My parents, Dan and Yuliya were cheering me on without fail. I also have to say thank you to them for keeping strong for me and trying to smile considering the circumstances, I cannot even begin to imagine how tough that was. As hard as it was it was definitely the best decision to not tell me mid race. I had also noticed by this point that the kids and my brother and sister were not there. I think it dawned on me when I was on my third lap something was wrong but nothing too serious. I just thought they had struggled to get down earlier and I assumed they were waiting on the finishing straight.
High5!

  Although I said a woman annoyed me for using me as a marker I cannot say I am innocent as I also use people as competition. On the last lap I was determined to beat a guy in a blue 2XU suit. On the final downhill we were swapping who was at the front and he eventually got in front on the straight. However, the feeling when I turned left towards the esplanade and finishing straight as opposed to right to do another lap was euphoric. I began to sprint and smile uncontrollably. I overtook the guy in the blue 2XU suit (chicked) when I was on the red carpet and left my hand out for anyone to high five it. This was my moment – the one I had been waiting for. I had been trying for a sub 14hr when I saw how close I was on my Garmin but I was more than overwhelmed when I crossed the line in 14.05. My marathon time was 4h54, not much slower than my London Marathon time, which is completely bloody flat!


  My finish time was better than I could have ever imagined. It was an hour before I had predicted myself to finish and was three hours before the cut off. Even without my knee injury I would’ve been pleased with that. I took my medal with pride and had my picture taken. (My medal has since been engraved and will be with Rosie always in her casket - see below). I have been asked so many times since what did it feel like and I think the best word is relief. I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted. I was euphoric when I turned the corner onto the magic carpet (called magic because all pain disappears) and then I just felt a huge sense of relief. It was as if everything was OK now, I had done it. 

The relief!
Don't think I can show more teeth
  However, the relief and smiles were short lived as when I got out of the finishing chute I knew there was something wrong. I hadn’t seen the kids on the finishing straight and they weren’t anywhere near us. Mum just said she would tell me at the car. I rushed through the finishing section, got my transition bags, bike, finishers t-shirt and a slice of pizza in quick speed. Although I knew my supporters were proud and told me so, everyone was very somber. It was when we were at the car that my mum told me that Rosie; my beautiful 19-year-old niece had died in her sleep. Rosie was always more than a niece to me, we grew up together as I was only three when she was born and she soon became my best friend and sister who I loved and protected fiercely. Quite simply she made my childhood. In that single moment in Wales my relief was swept with devastation. This could not be happening. My thought then was “This is the best and worst day of my life”.

   We were transferred to another smaller cottage for me, my parents, Dan and Yuliya. I remember sitting in the bath for what seemed like hours - completely numb. I'm sure the bath water went cold. I spoke to my brother, Brett, and brother-in-law, Des, on the phone and although our conversations were broken up through tears, their love, support and shared grief was evident. I remember Brett just reiterating how much he loved me and Des apologised for everyone not being there (obviously given the circumstances he needn't have apologised). He also said I could take as long as I needed to come home as I must've been mentally and physically drained. Yes I was, but I wasn't tired and not hungry for anything even if I had just burned 9000 calories. I finally got out of the bath and climbed into bed. I made a promise to Rosie that night while I lay awake. 
  Although numb with shock and after having no sleep I went to the Kona roll down at 10am the following day. I was third in my age group, which meant that if the first or second competitors in my age group did not want to go to the World Championships in Kona, Hawaii, I would qualify instead. I had decided whilst lying in bed that I wanted to get to Kona one day for Rose. The first woman had travelled to qualify so I left with no Kona slot, but with a new dream and the determination to get it.
  
  The weeks following this news were tough and emotionally draining. I haven't been able to celebrate or want to make a celebration about what I achieved as it all seems insignificant after what I lost that day. Since then we have had the funeral, which was a lovely celebration of Rosie’s life. During Rosie’s tribute that I read out in the church I promised Rose I would get to Kona through my own merit. I wrote, “The last thing I want to say is Rosie’s legacy to me. Rose’s death has taught me to always try and achieve your dreams. She was always very philosophical about shooting for the moon. As some of you may know Rosie died whilst our family was in Wales supporting me do my first Ironman. My lifetime goal has always been to complete an Ironman and I’m sure with Rosie’s spirit I got around even when it got physically and mentally tough. My dream however, was to get to the World Championships at Kona in Hawaii. But a few months ago I compared myself to the competition and discarded this thinking it was impossible. If crossing the line in Wales an hour before I predicted myself to finish and coming third in my age group has proved anything it is that anything is possible. She was so proud of me for competing and I have dedicated my Ironman Wales achievement to her and every one I do from now is in her honour. I shall be competing in the Outlaw Ironman in Nottingham next July so if her university friends see me you know it is for Rose. My promise to Rose is that I shall go for my dream and I will get to Kona. This will be a journey Rosie and I shall take together”.

  I have a lot of training to do over the next year to try and get to Hawaii. The time splits I am aiming for is 1hour swim, 6h15 bike and 4h marathon, a total of 11h15 without transitions. The bike is obviously the one with the most amount to cut off but with training I will be able to improve my bike. My run has got increasingly better throughout my training and Dan can vouch for that. The swim will be the hardest to improve as that is almost at its peak, trying to cut 10 minutes off something that is already near peak takes a lot of patience. But, as Dan said to me today, you have improved your fitness beyond what seemed possible in a few short months and you did the Ironman with ease. Your capability and maximum potential is there you just have to reach it. My training event next year will be the Outlaw Ironman distance in Nottingham on July 27th. I am still planning to compete in the DW Canoe Race in April and do the Channel Swim in August. I have registered for Ironman Wales again and this time I’m going for World Championship qualification – 14th September 2014 is THE big one.

  So with this is mind this blog is not going anywhere. In fact it now has a completely new journey. Hollies Road to Kona. The start of a new journey. This is your legacy Rosie – lets get to Kona! Oh and as a final note... I AM AN IRONMAN!



Thursday 5 September 2013

It's not the end

 Ever since I dreamed up becoming an Ironman I always wondered what I, or anyone competing in such an event, would feel like the night before. It would be the longest and hardest day of my life, would I even be able to sleep? This is a question I am desperate to answer and shall do so upon my return next Wednesday when I am an Ironman. This will be my last post before the event as I leave early Friday morning and from then on have a busy time organising my kit and myself as well as possibly trying to enjoy the experience and the location.

  Before I get to Friday however I am working Wednesday and Thursday. I was due to be doing the float shifts ie. 9am-9pm but I managed to swap shift to the earlies (7am-7pm) so I can get back that bit earlier. This means I can get my kit ready and get to bed early on the Thursday night ready to leave early on Friday. Here is my itinerary for the weekend;

Friday:

     Registration & explore expo - 1130

     Swim session - 1330 - 1400 (time for me to assess the jellyfish situation)

       * Check in at hotel *

     Race briefing - 1700

     Pasta party - 1830

        * Double check bike, sort kit out and put into transition bags *

Saturday:

     Transition bike and bag check in - 0900

         * Pasta meal and early bed *

Sunday:

     Pre-race routine - 0400

     Transition open - 0500

     Ironman Wales start - 0700

     Finish line party - 2200


  As you can see the day I arrive on the Friday is busy but by doing this it gives me a free day on the Saturday so I can chill out with my family and enjoy the area. It will be a huge weight lifted when I have racked my bike up on the Saturday. All I have to worry about then is getting myself down to the start the following morning.

  Instead of looking at the future I am now going to back track to the Reading Olympic Triathlon I competed in on Sunday. I had always wanted to tick this one off as it was were the first triathlon in the UK took place in 1982 with only 22 competitors. Although many experts say to start tapering (reducing exercise in the days before an event) for an Ironman 3 weeks before the event I decided to still compete in this event. For me mentally I had to carry on going for my own confidence. As an Ironman is half mental then I needed to pay attention to that just as much as my body's physical demands. I left alone for the triathlon at 6am (I seem to have done so many now I don't get or need the support a novice would anymore). I registered and began getting my kit racked in transition. I had a male competitor next to me who I can only describe as patronising and slightly sexist. Women were in quite short supply for the Olympic distance so I was surrounded by men. He seemed to stereotypically assume that as I was a female I had no idea what I was doing and was constantly querying and criticising the way I was setting up my transition. A competitor’s transition area is a personal space and I set mine up the same way every time. There were parts of his transition I didn't think worked but I kept stum and rightfully so, if it works for him what do I care? However, by the end of his sideways glances, tuts and comments I wasn't the sweet me anymore and when he queried why I had racked my bike in the direction I had done I snapped and just said because that’s how I like it and demonstrated how I would take it out with ease. I still continued to hear him ask other competitors about what direction to rack the bike properly. I could've screamed that in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter and it's personal preference over anything. By the time I had gone to the toilet and come back he had actually changed the way his bike was racked so it matched mine! He may have had all the gear but he was arrogant and loved the sound of his own voice. Thankfully I didn't see him again. 
  I had decided to try out my Kinesio tape among other things today, however as I hadn't put it on when I woke up I didn't give it time to stick so when I hastily put it on at transition it kept peeling off. When I tried to put on my wetsuit it kept rolling off, today was obviously not the day to try it and I went off towards the swim start tapeless. Whilst lingering by the race briefing location by the lake I bumped into my brothers best friends Beau and Ben. Beau is a somewhat seasoned triathlete, competing in the events for years. I remember when I still lived with my parents we would occasionally bump into each other swimming at Andover leisure centre. He is a good swimmer and I remember battling it out with him in the same lane, so much so at times I made myself feel sick by how hard I was pushing myself to not be swum past. Anyway, he then got Ben involved and they are both yet to persuade my brother to join them. I can honestly say I could never imagine my brother in lycra so they've got a battle on their hands to convince him to become a triathlete. We had a chat about Wales and what events we had competed in over the summer (which I think annoyed some people trying to listen intently to the race briefing) and then wished each other luck. They were in the wave before me so had a head start over me. Last time I raced against Ben it was in April and we were neck and neck during the run until he finally broke away beating me by 10seconds overall (see post 'It's good to be back' 10.04.13).  I was annoyed we couldn't have a proper battle between the three of us to give some extra competition to spur on a PB as well as assess my progress.
  Unsurprisingly with events that operate a wave system it fell behind time. My start time of 8.30am was postponed until 8.45. My wave included male 40+ and all females. The swim started in the water and I placed myself 2 rows from the front as I knew I could get away quick. I think the race organiser may have scared people when he said people will swim over you if you are too slow as I had a massive area of personal space. The swim was relatively painless with no issues, I just kept at a consistent pace. It was around the same pace I would be doing during the Ironman the following week. My transition was slower than I intended at 3m27 (pretty shocking actually) but then I wasn't going for a record breaking race. The bike leg was 2 laps of 22km and was told that it was my 'favourite’ word; undulating. Due to previous experiences I associate this as a euphemism for hilly but today it was the opposite. There were probably only 2 big climbs (per lap) both of which were easily achievable. I instantly noticed when leaving transition that my speedometer was not working on the bike so I couldn't see my speed or distance. I then noticed that my Garmin had not registered as switching sport to the cycle leg and thought I was still swimming so I couldn't see my heart-rate. Now I had no way of assessing myself. My strategy testing was getting rapidly worse and it seemed to be an event to show what can go wrong with kit and technology. After about 10k I had had enough and managed to put the Garmin onto cycle mode by biting the buttons, now I was in business. I had wasted 20 minutes not knowing how I was doing so now I had to make up for it. I kept to my strategy of keeping my heart-rate above 160mph and finished the bike in 1h28. I was still annoyed that I had wasted time and energy sorting the watch out but shit happens. As a further note I hope that the competitor who crashed on a tight corner and was taken to A&E was not too badly injured. 
  So onto the 10k run. I completed transition in another pretty slow time 2m17 and then headed out on the 6 lap flat course. The weather was lovely and I just enjoyed my run. It was a pretty easy course even if slightly monotonous after doing it 6 times but then again I don't mind running laps now (I think 6 may be my limit for enjoyment though). The run was slightly over 10k at 11k and I completed at my consistent run speed in 1h04. This brought my finish time to 3h09 and a PB. The woman who gave me my medal said I still sounded fresh, to which I replied I hope so I've got quadruple that distance in week! To put my PB into perspective I got 3h57 at the Snowdonia Slateman in May. Although it was a much harder course I still thought this was a noticeable improvement. I also got no pain in my knee despite not strapping it up but did conclude that it was hard to tell, as there were no downhill sections, which is when the pain really kicks in.
  I saw Ben and Beau as I was packing my transition up and they wished me well again before saying goodbye until the triathlon season starts again in 2014. Since looking at the results Ben and I both got a time of 3h09! (I did over hear his mates taking the mick saying he still had one lap of the run left, if so that's true it means this one is mine and by a bigger margin of 10 seconds this time!).
  I went straight to work after the triathlon as I had offered to help out due to lots of short staff due to sickness. It ended up being a long day as I didn't get home until 9pm. I have remained true to my healthy lifestyle for a month now and have not regretted it at all but I have never wanted a glass of red wine more than I did on this night. I did not give in as I knew that the Ironman is more important and had a cup of tea before heading to bed. This was a sure sign of my will power and commitment to becoming an Ironman. I am SO looking forward to a beer on that finish line though!

  I had days off on Monday and Tuesday. I had to take my car to have its brakes fixed early Monday and then went for a sports massage in preparation for Sunday on Tuesday. I have never had a sports massage and always have a sore back, which gets increasingly worse when cycling or running for long periods of time. This is probably a mixture of my appalling natural posture as well as the hunched position us road cyclists adapt to on the bike. I was expecting a lot of pain when the woman dug deep into my tight muscles and I was right. Even though she didn't go too deep as she didn't want it to hinder me for the weekend my back still feels bruised. However, after getting some severe cramp in my calves recently, the worst when swimming last week, the massage has worked wonders on my tight calf muscles. She said if I carry on with these events, which is a definite, I should really consider doing a deep tissue massage more often. You need to look after your body especially when I put it through so much stress.
  I had to work on Wednesday and Thursday before going away. On my lunch on Wednesday I decided to go for my 3mile run loop. When I told Dan he was pretty annoyed as he said I should be relaxing. I was just finding it tough to stay still and wanted one final test of my fitness. I ended up getting a nice and comforting time of 34minutes and I wasn’t pushing it at all.

My weight chart
  On another positive note I mentioned that losing weight would hopefully be a natural progression with all my training. The graph shows since January, but particularly in the last few weeks, that it has happened. I am nearly back to my lowest weight. The last time I was there it was over 4 years ago before uni and when I first met Dan. I would like to lose another stone until I get to my ideal weight but with my training and Ironman dreams not fading this should happen. On that note, will I continue this blog after I have completed my road to an Ironman? I have been asked and asked myself this many times and I have decided I will. This blog has been a great way for me to track my progress, increase confidence and let my friends and family know my plans and progress. I have other events to compete in next year apart from Ironman, the DW canoe race and the channel swim and I know my dream for a sub 12hour Ironman will never fade. I won't change the blog name but after Sunday this shall now be my blog for the challenging events I shall put myself through. When my desire to stop testing myself physically and mentally goes then I suppose so does the blog. I doubt I'll be able to write in this length about pugs and babies no matter how cute they may be so lets hope my need to push my limits stays with me for a while to come. So over and out, I'm off to pack for the weekend. The next time I write on here I shall be an Ironman. My road to becoming and Ironman is nearly over but my road to bigger, better and faster things is only just beginning.


Have I got everything?